CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
