She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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