I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
