There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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