how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
