Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
