im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
