No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
