God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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