im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize