..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
