You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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