i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
