I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
