I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
