omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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