I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
