6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
