He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
