At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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