That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
