Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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