I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
