i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
