found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
