he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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