2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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