The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
