so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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