i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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