they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
