You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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