you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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