I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize