Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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