He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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