I've blown a few things in my day
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
