I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
