i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
