I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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