New low: just hacked my moms facebook
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
