nut hugger
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
