Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
