hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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