I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
