That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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