Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
one might say we're banned from that church
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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