Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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