Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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