Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
