youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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