i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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