Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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