I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
