i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's never too late to be topless.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
