How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
