why didn't you poke me back
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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