My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
