Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
