so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
