does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
