if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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