I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
