Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wish i was in the wii world.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
