I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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